at the intersection

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it...

Tue, 23 Oct 2012 09:19:30 -0700

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” - Haruki Murakami

I’ll be posting a few things about grief coming up.

Change (whether good or bad); loss of friendships, family members, loves, pets; even lost opportunities change us. It’s important to recognize that this is the case, and that there’s not really a way to know who you’ll be in the process or when you emerge from it.

What you can do, though, to help yourself (or someone else) is to take good care in the midst. Be gentle with yourself. Find support in people: teachers, friends, family, counselor/therapist, priest/pastor/rabbi/imam; in activities: think about starting something simple and new as the old stuff that might have been of interest may no longer be; in music or movement; in just letting yourself be with whatever feeling arises.

And don’t forget to breathe.

(And, if you’re struggling and feel like you don’t have anyone you can talk to, check out my Help Me Now! page and call a hotline. Go ahead. No one’s judging you. There are some good listeners out there and they want to offer you support. No shame. Just the ear of a good-hearted, trained individual.)

Check out this chart and think about the food commercials you...

Tue, 16 Oct 2012 09:51:04 -0700

Check out this chart and think about the food commercials you see on TV. Then consider how hungry you get looking at that image of a burger or french fries and how many commercials you see for fruits and veggies versus meat and dairy products. (PS - the US government pays extra money to farmers who grow corn) (PPS - let us not forget the folks who are going hungry…)

This Is What You Eat in a Year (Including 42 Pounds of Corn Syrup)

your latest blog "Keep on keepin' on" moved me and uplifted me; you, too, should keep on keepin' on with this blog site; I, for one, have missed it!!

Sat, 13 Oct 2012 19:04:34 -0700

Thanks for your comment. I’m glad you’re finding something you connect to. I’m...

Photo

Tue, 02 Oct 2012 09:56:33 -0700

Keep On Keepin On

Tue, 18 Sep 2012 09:53:26 -0700

I work with clients who have been verbally, physically and sexually abused. They have been told...

Folks often don’t take the time to think about where the...

Mon, 17 Sep 2012 19:16:57 -0700

Folks often don’t take the time to think about where the food they eat come from, who’s taken care (grown, nurtured, harvested) of it, or who’s affected by it. This is a sweet, short article written from the viewpoint of a piece of fruit (yep) that might illuminate something you’ve never considered. Enjoy!

What would you do with all the time you spend disliking parts of...

Sat, 24 Mar 2012 10:00:05 -0700

What would you do with all the time you spend disliking parts of you?

Grab a paper and pencil and add up how much time you spend thinking negative things about your body.

Now make a list of 25 other ways you could use that time…

1. sleep

2. talk to a friend

3. take a walk

4. write yourself a love note

5. eat some nourishing food

6. babysit for someone

7. paint

8. read

9. play a video game

10. write

11. make a list of 10 things you’re grateful for

12. make a list of 3 body parts you like

13. make a list of 5 things you like about yourself that have nothing to do with appearance (if you can’t think of any, ask someone who knows you for help)

14. skip down the block

15. learn about something you care about

16. do some homework

17. do some extra credit work

18. help someone else

19. see how many people you can smile at

20. day dream about the different things you could do for work

21. think about what college you want to go to

22. volunteer

23. pet a dog/cat/parrot/chicken/ferret/hamster/rabbit

24. clean your room

25. write yourself a sign, big or small, that says “Stop Hating Your Body” and put it up where you’ll see it every day.

harmreduction: 5 Sexy Condom Tips For More ‘Pro-Phylactic’ Safe...

Fri, 23 Mar 2012 07:53:34 -0700

harmreduction:

5 Sexy Condom Tips For More ‘Pro-Phylactic’ Safe Sex

Wrap it up folks! Sex is a minute (well, hopefully at least a few), but a disease or baby is a lifetime. Take care of yourself - cause yes, you’re worth more than just the heat of the moment.

And trust, I’ve seen young folks come back with diagnoses of incurable STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections) such as herpes or HPV and they are *not* happy. Once you have something like that, you will need to tell every sex partner you have. Not so hot, right?

So…what goals can you set for yourself around safer behaviors?

Feeling stressed? Try this simple solution: *INHALE (relax your...

Fri, 09 Mar 2012 10:00:05 -0800

Feeling stressed? Try this simple solution:

*INHALE (relax your face)

*EXHALE (deepen your exhale)

*INHALE (to a long, slow count to three)

*EXHALE (blow all that air out through your mouth)

*INHALE (notice thoughts and picture putting them in bubbles and blowing them off your hand into the far distance)

*EXHALE (really empty your lungs)

*REPEAT

(try it, it really does work)

"…Each of us is a seed, a silent promise, and it is always spring."

Thu, 08 Mar 2012 10:00:05 -0800

“…Each of us is a seed, a silent promise, and it is always spring.” - Merle Shain

What have you made the best of lately? (Psst! PS - another...

Wed, 07 Mar 2012 10:00:06 -0800

What have you made the best of lately?

(Psst! PS - another secret: The happiest people aren’t happy all the time. You just think they are.)

Too often we think we’re the only ones going through it....

Mon, 27 Feb 2012 10:02:06 -0800

Too often we think we’re the only ones going through it. Fact is, more people than you think are experiencing at least some of what you are (even the crazy bad stuff). All you have to do is ask.

Though it might be one of the harder things you’ve done, sharing what you’re dealing with with someone you trust (particularly someone older who might have some experience listening) could be one of the best things you do for yourself.

What would it take for you to feel less alone right now?

“We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors; we borrow...

Sun, 26 Feb 2012 15:20:40 -0800

“We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors; we borrow it from our children.” Native American leader Chief Seattle

Nuff said!

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 20:58:11 -0800

Nuff said!

Most folks don’t know what AIDS (or HIV) stands for....

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 10:00:05 -0800

Most folks don’t know what AIDS (or HIV) stands for. We’ve seen the acronyms for so long, we forget to look further into what they mean.

HIV, or Human Immunodeficiency Virus, is what a person needs, plus a lowered t-cell count, and an opportunistic infection or two (sounds like a menu, yes, but not one off which you’d like to order if you can help it) to be diagnosed with AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome).

Just keeping current while checking out cool posters from the past.

What are words you wish you could wipe off the page? And with...

Tue, 31 Jan 2012 10:02:06 -0800

What are words you wish you could wipe off the page? And with what would you replace them?

PRX: The best youth-made radio of 2011. Programs covering...

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 10:03:06 -0800

PRX: The best youth-made radio of 2011.

Programs covering issues such as immigration, incarceration, school violence, and Occupy Wall Street. Check ‘em out!

Feel alone? Want to learn how to be alone? This video is a sweet...

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 10:00:06 -0800

Feel alone? Want to learn how to be alone? This video is a sweet example of how to learn to be by and with yourself.

(Thanks to queergirlquestions for the original posting.)

OPEN LETTER TO MY TUMBLR FOLKS Hi all, I must admit, I’ve...

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 21:50:29 -0800

OPEN LETTER TO MY TUMBLR FOLKS

Hi all,

I must admit, I’ve been off the map for a while. The truth is, I’ve been dealing with some big transitions (the end of a love relationship and the start of a new job) and it’s been kind of tough. I’ve put into action all the suggestions I offer to you, and others, on a daily basis. Journaling, exercise, eating wisely, seeking support of friends and counselors, spending time alone, being with others, and trying to notice and feel what’s coming up without being too hard on myself.

I feel like so often adults act as though they have nothing going on. As if they’ve never gone through what you might be going through, or have gone through. As if they have all the right answers and just the right words. As if everything’s fine as long as you do your homework and come home at curfew.

The truth is adults have some of the answers. (And so do young people). But the most helpful adults have some good questions - which, hopefully, they’re asking themselves as much as they ask young people. It’s rare that I have a session with a young person and ask them a question or reflect something back to them that I couldn’t ask of, or reflect to, myself.

So, this is to say, take your time. It’s ok to feel anger, sadness, confusion, hopelessness, irritation, hurt. All the emotions are part of the journey.

(Though if you’re feeling these emotions more often than not, then please take a minute to check out my Help Me Now! page to get some support).

If someone’s told you that happiness is the end goal, I’d beg to differ. I think the end goal is a mixture of whatever is coming up for you. And the consciousness to notice it, feel it, and use it to inform choices and decisions that help you feel good about yourself.

I hope to be back to posting more in the near future. Up and at em!

Best,

dania

Resources for Male Survivors of Sexual Assault

Tue, 03 Jan 2012 10:01:06 -0800

True, most sexual assault happens to women. But the less talked about and even less resourced is...