Recommended New Blog

For anyone of color who hasn’t yet felt comfortable in their skin, or is working on it, or wants to hear from folks like them or not like them.

For folks not of color who want to better understand what two amazing women of color endure/think about/tend to on the daily (sometimes also moment to moment). Check out this page: http://blackgirlawkward.tumblr.com/.

I guarantee as they build, you will find yourself in their writings.

xo

dania


“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” - Haruki Murakami

I’ll be posting a few things about grief coming up.

Change (whether good or bad); loss of friendships, family members, loves, pets; even lost opportunities change us. It’s important to recognize that this is the case, and that there’s not really a way to know who you’ll be in the process or when you emerge from it.
What you can do, though, to help yourself (or someone else) is to take good care in the midst. Be gentle with yourself. Find support in people: teachers, friends, family, counselor/therapist, priest/pastor/rabbi/imam; in activities: think about starting something simple and new as the old stuff that might have been of interest may no longer be; in music or movement; in just letting yourself be with whatever feeling arises.
And don’t forget to breathe.

(And, if you’re struggling and feel like you don’t have anyone you can talk to, check out my Help Me Now! page and call a hotline. Go ahead. No one’s judging you. There are some good listeners out there and they want to offer you support. No shame. Just the ear of a good-hearted, trained individual.)

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” - Haruki Murakami

I’ll be posting a few things about grief coming up.

Change (whether good or bad); loss of friendships, family members, loves, pets; even lost opportunities change us. It’s important to recognize that this is the case, and that there’s not really a way to know who you’ll be in the process or when you emerge from it.

What you can do, though, to help yourself (or someone else) is to take good care in the midst. Be gentle with yourself. Find support in people: teachers, friends, family, counselor/therapist, priest/pastor/rabbi/imam; in activities: think about starting something simple and new as the old stuff that might have been of interest may no longer be; in music or movement; in just letting yourself be with whatever feeling arises.

And don’t forget to breathe.

(And, if you’re struggling and feel like you don’t have anyone you can talk to, check out my Help Me Now! page and call a hotline. Go ahead. No one’s judging you. There are some good listeners out there and they want to offer you support. No shame. Just the ear of a good-hearted, trained individual.)

(via assourdi-deactivated20130720)


Check out this chart and think about the food commercials you see on TV. Then consider how hungry you get looking at that image of a burger or french fries and how many commercials you see for fruits and veggies versus meat and dairy products. (PS - the US government pays extra money to farmers who grow corn) (PPS - let us not forget the folks who are going hungry…)

This Is What You Eat in a Year (Including 42 Pounds of Corn Syrup)

Check out this chart and think about the food commercials you see on TV. Then consider how hungry you get looking at that image of a burger or french fries and how many commercials you see for fruits and veggies versus meat and dairy products. (PS - the US government pays extra money to farmers who grow corn) (PPS - let us not forget the folks who are going hungry…)

This Is What You Eat in a Year (Including 42 Pounds of Corn Syrup)

(via utnereader)


Q
your latest blog "Keep on keepin' on" moved me and uplifted me; you, too, should keep on keepin' on with this blog site; I, for one, have missed it!!
Anonymous
A

Thanks for your comment. I’m glad you’re finding something you connect to. I’m working on keepin’ on up here. Hope you’re keepin’ on too!


(via twloha)


Keep On Keepin On

I work with clients who have been verbally, physically and sexually abused. They have been told they’re nothing, been partially raised by substance abusing parents, by grandparents who don’t want them, by siblings who have children of their own who my clients are helping to raise.

And, still, they come to school. They hope for a job, for a better grade in math, to not cuss out their teacher next time, to have a better relationship with their friends or romantic partners. They hope to be liked and loved. They worry about what others think and do, and how their friends feel and if their family members are safe.

They wish for the latest kicks, jackets, styled weaves and haircuts. They get their nails done. They try to be satisfied with birthday presents (if there’s enough money for their parents to get them one) and overlook their stepdads getting drunk at parties.

They go to their own parties and make decisions for themselves which they think are the best at the moment. They sometimes think about the future they want for themselves or their children (born and unborn). They often dwell in the past that has left such indelible marks on them.

And they get pissed. A lot. They lose friends and family members to violence or incarceration. And they mourn in the best ways they know how and then move forward, one foot in front of the other. And they tell off the teachers they don’t like because they’re angry and they don’t know any other way to express the hurt and pain.

And, they keep going.

Just

like

you.


Folks often don’t take the time to think about where the food they eat come from, who’s taken care (grown, nurtured, harvested) of it, or who’s affected by it. This is a sweet, short article written from the viewpoint of a piece of fruit (yep) that might illuminate something you’ve never considered. Enjoy!

Folks often don’t take the time to think about where the food they eat come from, who’s taken care (grown, nurtured, harvested) of it, or who’s affected by it. This is a sweet, short article written from the viewpoint of a piece of fruit (yep) that might illuminate something you’ve never considered. Enjoy!


What would you do with all the time you spend disliking parts of you?
Grab a paper and pencil and add up how much time you spend thinking negative things about your body.
Now make a list of 25 other ways you could use that time…
1. sleep
2. talk to a friend
3. take a walk
4. write yourself a love note
5. eat some nourishing food
6. babysit for someone
7. paint
8. read
9. play a video game
10. write
11. make a list of 10 things you’re grateful for
12. make a list of 3 body parts you like
13. make a list of 5 things you like about yourself that have nothing to do with appearance (if you can’t think of any, ask someone who knows you for help)
14. skip down the block
15. learn about something you care about
16. do some homework
17. do some extra credit work
18. help someone else
19. see how many people you can smile at
20. day dream about the different things you could do for work
21. think about what college you want to go to
22. volunteer
23. pet a dog/cat/parrot/chicken/ferret/hamster/rabbit
24. clean your room
25. write yourself a sign, big or small, that says “Stop Hating Your Body” and put it up where you’ll see it every day.

What would you do with all the time you spend disliking parts of you?

Grab a paper and pencil and add up how much time you spend thinking negative things about your body.

Now make a list of 25 other ways you could use that time…

1. sleep

2. talk to a friend

3. take a walk

4. write yourself a love note

5. eat some nourishing food

6. babysit for someone

7. paint

8. read

9. play a video game

10. write

11. make a list of 10 things you’re grateful for

12. make a list of 3 body parts you like

13. make a list of 5 things you like about yourself that have nothing to do with appearance (if you can’t think of any, ask someone who knows you for help)

14. skip down the block

15. learn about something you care about

16. do some homework

17. do some extra credit work

18. help someone else

19. see how many people you can smile at

20. day dream about the different things you could do for work

21. think about what college you want to go to

22. volunteer

23. pet a dog/cat/parrot/chicken/ferret/hamster/rabbit

24. clean your room

25. write yourself a sign, big or small, that says “Stop Hating Your Body” and put it up where you’ll see it every day.

(via toohelpsavealife)


harmreduction:

5 Sexy Condom Tips For More ‘Pro-Phylactic’ Safe Sex
Wrap it up folks! Sex is a minute (well, hopefully at least a few), but a disease or baby is a lifetime. Take care of yourself - cause yes, you’re worth more than just the heat of the moment.
And trust, I’ve seen young folks come back with diagnoses of incurable STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections) such as herpes or HPV and they are *not* happy. Once you have something like that, you will need to tell every sex partner you have. Not so hot, right?
So…what goals can you set for yourself around safer behaviors?

harmreduction:

5 Sexy Condom Tips For More ‘Pro-Phylactic’ Safe Sex

Wrap it up folks! Sex is a minute (well, hopefully at least a few), but a disease or baby is a lifetime. Take care of yourself - cause yes, you’re worth more than just the heat of the moment.

And trust, I’ve seen young folks come back with diagnoses of incurable STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections) such as herpes or HPV and they are *not* happy. Once you have something like that, you will need to tell every sex partner you have. Not so hot, right?

So…what goals can you set for yourself around safer behaviors?


Feeling stressed? Try this simple solution:
*INHALE (relax your face)
*EXHALE (deepen your exhale)
*INHALE  (to a long, slow count to three)
*EXHALE (blow all that air out through your mouth)
*INHALE  (notice thoughts and picture putting them in bubbles and blowing them off your hand into the far distance)
*EXHALE (really empty your lungs)
*REPEAT
(try it, it really does work)

Feeling stressed? Try this simple solution:

*INHALE (relax your face)

*EXHALE (deepen your exhale)

*INHALE (to a long, slow count to three)

*EXHALE (blow all that air out through your mouth)

*INHALE (notice thoughts and picture putting them in bubbles and blowing them off your hand into the far distance)

*EXHALE (really empty your lungs)

*REPEAT

(try it, it really does work)